17th Memorial Service

Today was one of many memorial services for one of my husband's ancestors. In Japan there are specific years when each person is remembered after their death by a service led by a priest. Today was the 17th year after my husband's grandfather died so a few close relatives gathered to pray and eat. The first part of the morning was 45 minutes of chanting by the priest.... I never understand what is being said and as this time I didn't even meet my husband until after his grandfather had died I found it hard to concentrate. Fortunately the people beside me were also snoozing so I didn't feel so bad! Next is the eating and drinking... well eating for some of us and drinking for the hardcore men. My husband's uncle snoozed a little too early and my daughter decided he needed some face paint. My husband had a little too much to drink and staggered home at about
6pm and we literally dragged him into bed and put lots of towels under his head.... I think I'll sleep by the fire tonight!
I really like the idea of remembering ancestors with services like this (perhaps with a little less time sitting on your knees!). It is nice to hear stories of the person being remembered being told over the meal, but I have a problem with the amount of money which it costs to do so. The cost for the priest to come is high enough without the cost for the meals (all ordered in) and then of course the presents which need to be given to each of the "guests" who come to attend. Each guest is expected to give money but it doesn't cover very much and these services continue for each ancestor until the 50th anniversary of their death -fortunately not annually, but enough times to make it a fairly regular event. Surely there is a different way to do it so that everyone can be remembered without spending so much money.....